Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Front Lines Tour Day 4

Ay Dios Mio

    So we wake up and have mosquito bites all over our bodies. Decora drove to a hotel we booked and DJ H20 served as navigator while the rest of us got some sleep. The "Town Place Marriott Suite" was niiiiiiceeee (And surprisingly very very economical).  The room had a kitchenette, a nice bed, a sofa bed, a cot and it was cleeeaaann. For the price we paid I expected to see blood stains, dead rodents and flies that kept us up all night. But not this place. It even had an outdoor pool with a lifeguard. Ohhh annddd the coookies...they had homemade cooookkiiess. Mmmmm. Latin like cookies.
    Back to the good stuff. When we got to the hotel we had some good ole continental breakfast, (why is it continental breakfast anyway? why not national or countrywide lol) took some much needed showers and some of us got rest while others made phone calls, or caught up on writing. We decided the night before that we'd have a meeting at eleven but we pushed it to noon so that we'd have fresh clear minds. So at 11:55 we all regrouped and began our meeting. We discussed future group goals as well as individual goals in an effort to assure that we build with others as we build within ourselves. In order to create change one must experience change within self. To not do so leaves one at a disadvantage and in turn negatively affects those that one is trying to build with. We developed a number of ideas for the group and future performances that will inevitably leave many breathless.
    After the meeting we got ourselves ready and went to fill our bellies We found a restaurant a Mexican restaurant in the area and headed there. Actually, we found ourselves sitting in Bob Evans but we all agreed that we'd rather eat at a "mom and pop" restaurant with better food than microwaved meals. It was our blind hunger that led us to the corporate chemically enhanced nuked food. We made the right decision by going to "El Paso". This restaurant was beautiful. The service was good, food great and portions were amazing. "Steve Prince" should learn a thing or two from them. At the restaurant we relaxed and laughed with each other as we discussed the difference between abstinence and celibacy.
    From there we headed to Washington D.C. to pick up Graham. This is where it allllll began. While we were driving along in our happy bus (we realized later it wasn't so happy after all) it stopped running in the middle of fast going traffic. Fortunately, we didn't run into anyone and no one ran into us. Traffic was wizzing by us as we slowly let the car drift in neutral towards the curb. From the engine we heard a loud clacking sound that said; HEY PEOPLE I NEED TO CHILL FOR A WHILE! When we got out we realized that directly to the right of us was the Washington Monument. After popping the hood we saw that the clacking sound was the belt for the engine fan. Without that belt the bus was not going to move. Allow me to paint the picture a little better for you. It's Sunday evening in D.C. across from the Washington Monument and our engine fan belt snapped. There are noooooo auto part shops open on a Sunday evening in D.C. We know this now because we called them all. To get a tow truck we'd have to call a special tow truck for buses that will happily charge hundreds of dollars that we don't have. So the search was on for an auto part shop to be open some where for some reason. Decora and J went on foot while the rest of us stayed home (in the bus) and made phone calls. No luck. As the night reached it's peak of darkness Graham (Producer from Volume 8 Music) stepped to the bus wet and tired. Oh yeah...I forgot to mention that at one point it was pouring rain. When Graham got there it was still raining but fortunately it was no longer a torrential down pour. None of us knew what lied ahead.
    We ended up deciding that in order to fix the bus we'd have to rent a car. A cab would be too expensive because we'd have to go from cab to hotel, from hotel to auto parts place and from auto parts place too bus. It was just too risky and inefficient. After seemingly hours of phone calls to rental cars, cabs, and CLOSED auto part shops we Decora and Free hailed a cab and headed towards Reagan airport to pick up a rental car. Reagan airport is the one that had a workers strike years ago. Reagan had the strikers fired and then they named the airport after him. At least that's what I recall. Be sure to look it up for the accurate info. As a matter of fact...don't believe anything I say. Look things up yourself so that you can create your own fountain of information without being tainted by another persons interpretations. Create your own interpretations When Free and Decora got back they decided to take the rental car to a Wal-Mart to see if they would have the part. We called and called but since it was late at night customer service was not picking up. Free, Decora and J headed towards the Wal-Mart but when they got there it was closed. It had closed merely ten minutes before they arrived. The headed back home (the bus) to regroup and plan out the next steps that would be taken. It was agreed that Graham, Decora and J would stay in the bus to get some sleep while Cuttz, Free, DJ H20 and myself (Latin) would head to the hotel room. There we would freshen up, rest a little, use the internet to find out what time the auto part shops would open in the morning (the time was then 2am) and which one would have the part.
     We also searched for a YMCA in the area. I'm employed with the New Paltz YMCA and the one in Kingston (their connected) sponsored us by hooking us up with AWAY program memberships. That means that we could use participating YMCA facilities throughout the country for workouts and showers. Being that the guys at the bus hadn't had showers in hours this was going to come in handy. Thanks Lee Anne! The next morning all of us at the hotel cleaned up and had breakfast before we got to work. While I enjoyed my "continental breakfast I worked on sending out an e-mail blast letting everyone know to check out the blog and photo updates on our page. I also searched for a YMCA in the area.
    Free and DJ H20 worked on getting the auto part shops on the phone (most of them opened at 7:30am) to figure out who had the part and where. Cuttz was responding to some e-mails and staying in informed with the Free Wi-Fi we had in the hotel. When I was with the e-mail blast I talked to the woman behind the counter (who side I looked like Common....lol) because DJ H20 said that someone told him that there was a NAPA auto parts shop in the area. While I figured out where the NAPA was DJ H20 found a place that had the part fan belt for us on hold. We high tailed (now that's a phrase that makes little sense...high tailed?) over there to pick up the part. Got the part and headed over the guarders of the bus. The doors opened and out came men that looked like they'd been in the trenches of battle. We handed over the part and they got to work. The belt ended up not fitting because it was too short. Sooooo we get on the phone to find the right one. After numerous attempts we find one that says they have the part. J and Free head over there to find the part while some rest in the bus and others take advantage of the opportunity and start trekking D.C. to get photos of the sites.
    While the bus is parked a woman in her twenties rammed the side of the bus. The suffered minor scratches and a shake that caught the people still working on loosening parts under the hood. I thought someone had fallen in the bus really hard. She got out of her car startled and Decora asked if she was ok. She was but her car wasn't looking to good. It hard a long white stripe on the passenger side and the rear view mirror fell off. We got some Duck Tape and helped get it back on for her. After a few apologies and informing her about the tour she headed off while we got back to the bus to work on it.
    After a few more hours (by now the bus had been parked there for nearly 24 hours) Free and J arrived with the right belt. While trying to get it into place Decora slashed his hand on the alternator (the alternator is what charges the battery). A few more hours of work passed and while some napped, others wrote, while the mechanics kept on working on the bus. Finally, the belt fell into place, it was tested out and we hit the road ASAP. On the road the belt started making the same noise it did right before it broke. So Decora took it niiiiice and eeeeasy. Free and DJ H20 drove the rental car ahead of the bus and we followed so that we could drop off the rental car. That noise was making us all nervous so we stopped and took a look at it but we saw no possibilities of it snapping. J called the shop we got it from and he was told that it needed to be lubricated. We stopped to get some much needed COMIDA (food in espaƱol) from another Mexican restaurant called  Tostillos. Not as good as "El Paso" but it was till good. There hot sauce was HHOOOOOOTTTT! After our meal we dropped off Free and Graham at a cafe to get some research, and other internet things taken care of. Graham has been searching for housing on couchsurfing.com and needed to find out what the status of some requests were.     Couchsurfing.com is website that links travelers with people that are willing to put them up for a night or two in the hops that the favor will be returned one day. It's a network a people helping people...sounds good to me. While Free and Decora worked online the rest of us went Advance Auto Parts to return the belt that didn't fit and get some other things for the bus. All seven of us were now in Alexandria, Virginia and a YMCA was nearby as well. On the way to Advance auto my body began asking if I really needed that much hot sauce on my Pollo El SalvadoreƱo. I was feeling things that no one should ever feel in their intestinal track. Fortunately Advance Auto had a restroom where I could do some much needed "resting". One of the guys at Advance Auto noticed the bus and pointed it out to his co-workers. He kept yelling; Wow look how cool it is!. Every now then people would walk slowly by the bus and comment on it as well. One guy asked to come in and check it out. He said it was real sixties like and that the journey we had embarked on was real cool. People really appreciate the giving back aspect of the tour. It really feels good knowing that we are giving and not just taking.
    An oil change, new oil filter and air filter, new mini mirrors, cleaned windows, adjusted and lubed fan belt later WE WERE BACK IN BUSINESS. The bus was running mmuuuucchhh better than before. We picked up Free and Graham and made our way to the YMCA before they closed. When we found the YMCA we only had 45 minutes to shower. Some worked out, others shaved BUT WE ALL SHOWERED AND THAT... MY FRIENDS... IS WHAT MATTERS ON THIS BUS.
This is another loooongg one...We have another day without performances and then we're in Kentucky people...KENTUCKY!!! WHOOO!
-Latin



Front Lines Tour Day 3

As Andrea (Student from the "Nex 2 Be Read Club KHS Chapter") would say OMG!

    I'm (Latin) typing away on my keyboard as I take in some of the views to reminisce over what's happened over the past two days. To the left of me I see Cuttz giving Free some guitar lessons. Outside the window (past the curtains ala Moa we put up last night) I see congested traffic full of drivers that let us know their disapproval of our being parked on the side of the road by making sure they slow down and snare at us with every pass. Past the angry drivers is the Washington Memorial. Out the window on my right I see tents pitched up for a previous event that was held over the weekend not far from the White House. Directly in front of me I see Free attentively listening to Cuttz's lesson. Past Free is the windshield and out it I see DJ H2O, Decora and J working on installing the new engine fan belt that some of us picked up this morning. To my rear (not my butt my rear) I see a white Kia Rio that we rented from the airport last night. Above us is a power that has somehow prevented us from crashing, (someone did crash into us though) being towed, fighting with each other, starving, going without showers, dehydrating, being harassed, and arrested for having a bus with curtains and the words "Stop The War" spray painted on the side of our bus a few yards from the White House. Here we are.
    A day ago we thanked Decora's Aunt for the warm meals, showers and safe place to sleep in. Her house was beautiful and she opened it up to us as if we'd been living there for years. After our goodbyes we packed up the bus and headed to the headquarters of the Philadelphia Student Union. There we planned on presenting our scheduled workshop. When we arrived we immediately began unpacking DJ' H20's equipment and walked in to a center full of eager High School students. Wassup's were said, the bathroom (with a door that didn't close and only scolding hot water in the sink) was used and equipment was prepped. We presented our workshop and through our mouths flowed lessons of history, self knowledge, the importance of self-worth, writing, speaking, the role of music as a tool for change, the role of female Hip Hop artists and much more. At the end of the workshop we gave pounds to a group of grateful leaders and thanked them for having us. These Youths' were wise beyond their years and deserve to known. Be sure to check out philadelphiastudentunion.org for more information on these power houses of change.
    After the workshop we walked over to Dana's house to have some good ole organic foods. She put together a spread of fruits, turkey, breads, tuna, veggies, juice and even cookies for us. We all enjoyed each others company, the food and the laughs while we talked about co-op housing Mac's, the new Zipcar phenomenon and Cutt'z slow motion eating. While everyone else began talking about the road ahead I began a discussion with Dana about some of the social problems that Philly is dealing with. She mentioned that one of them was the issue of Public being threatened to privatize and be more concerned with numbers and money than with the actual quality of teachers and the overall educational experience. From there the conversation led into a discussion about gentrication in Philly.
    Philadelphia is predominantly a homeowner city. Although the majority of the people that live there are homeowners the taxes are low. With low taxes there isn't much money reserved for public education. Which explains why some want the schools to be privatized. They also don't have much money left over for fixing up some of the inner city neighborhoods. What is the politicians solution to the problem you ask. Why Gentrification of course you silly billy. Gentrification in the Oxford Dictionary is defined as "renovate and improve so that it conforms to middle class taste". In real life it means to kick people out of neighborhoods they've been living in for years by use of shady tactics. This creates cheap real estate for developers that sell off land to corporations. These corporations then buy   cheap land like babies would buy Similac formula...if they had better motor skills...and money...and could talk. They then put up large multinational corporations like Wal-Mart, Supermarkets and others. Or they build restaurants, clubs and entertainment spaces (such as the Newburgh waterfront). These are just a few ways that Gentrification takes place. The bottom line is that they leave the poor without housing when they've had housing of their own for years. For more info on Gentrification type it into Google. You'll find plenty of info.
    After leaving Dana's house we drove to a Hip Hop Theater event in D.C. We saw a group out of NYC called the UniVerses. If you don't know about them be sure to check them out because they epitomize Spoken Word Poetry and all that it is. When the show was done we had to the bus for a regrouping session and planned the rest of the night and day. By this time we were all hungry so we decided to make food the next mission. After walking around 14th st. searching for food we decided to just get some pizza slices. In the process of searching for food Free realized she left her ID at Decora's aunt's house. Decora didn't eat because he's lactose intolerant so he decided to wait and see if there was something else in the area. By this time only bars were open so we figured we'd just head to the Hip Hop Theatre After Party. There we danced the night away to some of the best old school Hip Hop and dance music we knew. Every other song would have the crowd yell out (Oohhhhh!). The DJ was playing old school video's with a projector as the music blasted throughout the night. We danced till we couldn't dance anymore and then went back to the bus for some much needed rest. Decora got some food at the after party so we were all good to go. We stopped for some water at a gas station and headed home (the bus).
    The bus was parked on the side of a road with reaaaaalllyy nice houses. A road that Decora, J, DJ H20 and myself (Latin) had previously raced on...J won...I was last....SO WHAT! Due to sleep deprivation and exhaustion we all had the giggles. After laughing and joking for an hour or two we all found a space on the bus to fall asleep. The next morning...allllll the drama began. I'll soon write  about the engine fan belt snapping, the woman that ran her car into the bus, and how Decora cut his hand. At the moment I'm exhausted so I'll be signing off and hoping that the Mexican food I had a few minutes ago stays in for a little longer.
- Latin


Sunday, July 13, 2008

Front Lines Tour Day 2

Day two on our journey through the reality of U.S. !

    It's day two on the Front Lines Tour and the sun is burning my hands as a I write to you. I feel as if fire is slowly igniting my hands while UV rays enter our meagerly tinted windows browning my skin. Interestingly enough, that fire is not what's currently causing my fingertips to vigorously caress these keys and distantly guide you on our journey.  It's the voices of youthful souls that speak to their local communities and demand a quality education. The voices that stand up daily telling others that education is key to a better tomorrow and without it the cycle of poverty and injustice will continue. I write of the Philadelphia Student Union.
    The Philadelphia Student Union (P.S.U.) is a youth led organization (with advise from adults) that actively fights to keep their public schools public. In addition, they work to ensure that their public education is based on quality and not on numbers. A friend of ours (Dana who is formerly from Poughkeepsie) put us on to them. They organized a benefit concert dedicated to Hip Hop/Spoken Word to help raise money for their organization. We were asked to be the headlining act of the event and to present our Hip Hop & Poetry Saved My Life Workshop. Ol Soul had asked if he could jump onto some of the Front Lines Tour so we put him on to the Brooklyn event as well as this one.
    We drove from Brooklyn to Philly yesterday morning and made it to Decora's Aunt's house late in the afternoon. Before we got there we stopped by "Steve the Prince of Philly Cheese Steaks" restaurant to get some of the good stuff (the toll booth worker on I76 recommended it). Unfortunately, we didn't find any good stuff  there. However, we did find some bad attitude from the four guys that worked there, a landfill that was marked restroom, floors with more food on them than on the stoves, and food that made are stomachs say; COME ON! ARE YOU SERIOUS! Interestingly enough they're in the Guinness Book of World Records for the largest Cheese Steak Sandwich measuring in at 395 feet and 7 inches. I have a feeling that's the only real thing Steve is Prince for. Maybe the restaurant patrons revolted and put King Steve out of business so the Prince took over and did what he could.
    At Decora's Aunt's hours we welcomed with open arms. She lives in a beautiful home and we glad to have a safe place to clean up and prep for the event. We were all feeling Cuttz's absence and looked forward to seeing picking him up at the bus station. Unfortunately, the only bus he could catch was going to get him into Philadelphia at 9:30pm and the event was scheduled to start at 8:00pm. We did what we could to get the inevitable scent of the road off of us and focus on the event even though it didn't seem like Cuttz was going to make it in time. Then we got into the bus and headed towards the Rotunda (a large community space owned by Penn State). The show actually ended up starting at 8:45pm. Dana (our friend that helped P.S.U. put the event together) asked us to hold it off so that more of the invitees could make it. She asked if we could host the first half as an open mic so that some of the P.S.U. members could perform. Two talented youth were also scheduled to perform. Latin agreed to host the event and made sure to give props to P.S.U. and the young performers. Both of the performers that went on stage (Yates and Passion) rocked the mic with words of truth, love and all the realities their minds could muster.
     Afterwards, Latin asked if there was anyone in the crowd that would like to do their thing on the open mic. One young brother (Kaleef) yelled out from the 50+ crowd and asked if he could step to the stage. He did so indeed and freestyled a poem from the top of his "dome". Afterwards Latin introduced Ol Soul to the crowd. Ol Soul made sure to let the people of Philly know that he was in the building. We were hoping that by the time he was done Cuttz would be at least near to the event but after a few phone calls we learned that he was still on the bus and that he'd be getting dropped off nowhere near the Rotunda. DJ H20 (who had been blessing the sound waves with his skills throughout the night) Got back on stage and played Sam Cooke's "A Change Is Gonna Come". A few verses into the song Decora, Free and Latin walked on stage and began altering minds with their lyrical verses. After a few introductory pieces and some info about the group Decora began explaining to the crowd how he "Love[s] Hip Hip". Free followed with "Chiquita Banana" and "[Latin] Packed His Bags". Decora and Free then got back on stage for "Youth" and Latin followed by letting the crowd know "We All Come From Queens". When he was done he glanced backstage and saw a fireball tearing his bags off and being informed by Decora and Free. Latin was glad to see his 7 year brother Cuttz el Colombiano and gave him the introduction he deserved. Cuttz ran towards the stage along with Free and Decora for "C.O.C.A." Cuttz followed by speaking from his "Arterias". The group then moved into "Useless" and wrapped it up for an amped crowd by letting them know they all "Wade" together.
    After the event a woman named Hannah and her friend Jen interviewed the ReadNex and promised to post footage from the event and interview on Youtube.com. (We'll keep you posted about and let you know when you can check it out).
    After a job well done we saw a guy with one of our T-shirts who said J had given it to him. (We later found out he stole it but it's all good...maybe he needed it more than we did).  J (intern and former member of the ReadNex) had gone to his cousin's house for the night for some much needed family love. Then we headed back to Decora's Aunt's house and we feasted on Curried Chicken, String Beans, Garden Salad, etc. etc. etc. (THE REAL GOOD STUFF). Decora's Aunt was very hospitable and even made us some tea. We sipped on it as we discussed the Rotunda event and a few adjustments that we'd like to make to our performances. Soon after, one by one our exhausted bodies began collapsing into distinct rooms and sofa's throughout Decora's Aunt's house.
 
    Another day in the office down. 44 more to go.

Front Lines Tour Day 1

Whoooo!!!

    Bed-stuy, Brooklyn stood up and represented in full last night 7/11/08. After a loooong day of technical difficulties with the bus and picking up tour members (Decora, Latin, DJ H20,) we finally made into the Bed-Stuy Block Party (Event put on by 123 Community space) and held it down the way we do.
    The original departure from New Paltz was set for noon. During our Wednesday night conference call Latin mentioned that one of his tooth fillings had fallen out and he would have to see the dentist in the morning. There were others that had last minute arrangements to be made so we all decided to postpone the Front Lines Tour departure to 1PM. Latin wasn't able to have his tooth fixed but we still departed late due to last minute packing and bus needs. Decora was dropped off in New Paltz by J where the bus was just waiting to get on the rode. Latin said he heard the bus crying all night because it wanted to stretch it's wheels ASAP. He walked over to soothe it's woes (Latin lives on the property where the bus was parked) but the bus kept telling him to not walk over unless he was ready to roll. When Decora got there he opened the bus up and started to pack it up with J. Cuttz began to bring his things over as well while Latin cleared out all of the garbage and swept up the saw dust that was left over from the retrofitting.
    This bus....actually... this temporary home of ours looks real cool now. Decora and his uncle retrofitted it with boxes for equipment, beds, storage areas, and electrical outlets. Soon after our good friend Corey Pane came by and blessed the bus with some of his airbrushing skills. The tour logo and other info is now spread throughout outside of the bus. We are now driving with some oC the faces of our mentors (Malcolm X, Young Lords, Brown Berets, Kathleen Cleaver, and Freedom fighting Native Americans) leading the way and handing us the baton.
    After getting Latin's, Cutt'zs and J's stuff on the bus Decora and Latin got on the road and stopped by the 21st Century Office in New Paltz(an organization that "Creates Safe Schools...Building By Building" with after school programing and more) to see Dr. Felicia Watson. She grabbed everyone she could in the office and they all came out to the bus to check it out and give their blessings. After a brief prayer led by Dr. Felica Decora and Latin got back on the road to stop over by Antilogy. There they picked up the tour shirts designed by Ryan  and chatted about the tour with Jim. (if you are looking to have shirts or some type of printmaking work done these are the people to talk to) On the way to Antilogy we had to stop because the brakes were smoking and smelling up the bus. After giving them a quick look at and talking to a lunch bus owner we decided that the brakes might have been jammed. We gave a pound to Jim and talked to a man that said our bus needed commercial plates (DMV just gave us residential) drove to Newburgh and picked up DJ H2O. There DJ H2O hooked us up with some iced teas and packed up his equipment. The time was now 5:30pm and we were supposed to be in Brooklyn at 3:00pm.
    We joked about how behind schedule we were and put the bus on route to Brooklyn. Cuttz took the FDR and Decora put the bus onto the Cross Bronx Expressway. Both were stuck in traffic for a few hours. The time was then 7:15. The group was supposed to be on stage at 7:30. Freeflowin was at the event calling and checking the rest of the group's location. Latin told her she might have to hold it down on stage by herself. Ol Soul (an amazing Nuyorican poet who performed at the event as well) called Latin to let him know that the performances were running behind schedule. Cuttz got to the event first and soon after Decora pulled up with the Thomas Built/ReadNex redesigned bus. DJ H20 and Latin began to haul out equipment at 8:30 and the event was supposed to end at 8. Latin pulled Decora, Free and Cuttz aside to figure out a lineup and they all agreed that it should be Decora (poem) Free and Decora (Youth) Cuttz (C.O.C.A.) Free (Mis-Ed) and Decora and Latin (Wade). The 200+ crowd roared when Decora yelled; BROOKLYN MAKE SOME NOOOIIIIIISSSSEEE! While the crowd went wild Latin let DJ H2O know what was going down. A few inebriated fans kept getting on stage with us while they unsuccessfully tried to translate some of Cuttz's Spanish lyrics. We just kept going and the crowd came closer with each piece we rocked for them. Pounds were given while heads bopped and DJ H20 kept the crowd bouncin. Brooklyn came out for an event and no one was hurt, robbed or involved in an altercation. Yet another stereotype broken. One of the inhibriated brothers grabbed the microphone at the end and asked everyone to notice that peace was kept and respect was given without violence or weapons.
    Even in his intoxicated state he saw what many fail to see. That we as a people regardless of color can come together and enjoy ourselves with music, dance and food. This all without the need to hurt each other out of the desperation we may feel due to the times we live in. Chuck Brown was there (an M.C. and one of Latin's college buddies) holding it down while rockin his "Stop the Violence"  shirt and repping with his crew. Maybe everyone saw the shirt and got the message.
    When the ReadNex got off stage Cesar and Federico (two amazing graffiti artists) asked to tag up the bus with some more visual love. They did so indeed by tagging the faces of Big Pun, Nas, Bob Marley, Hector Lavoe, Biggie visuals of the Brooklyn Bridge, Manhathan and more. We thanked them, went to get some food and Latin, Free, DJ H20 and Decora spent the night at Free's apt. in Brooklyn. Cuttz had to head back up state and handle some important matters. He'll meet us in Philly. D
    Day 1 down! 45 TO GO!

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Upcoming Tour

So the upcoming tour keeps getting closer and closer. Pretty soon I'll be in a bus with the ReadNex crew and others travelling the country for 7 weeks. We've been putting some fundraisers together but still need some funds to even get the bus. What's interesting about it is that it will somehow come from somewhere. It just needs to happen soon. 

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

I've been away from this here blogspot for a while but am back and will indeed attempt to stay up with it. 

I've been blessed in so many ways and feel that the struggles of self-revolution have been paying off with each breath that I take. I've been doing workshops back and forth, performing here and there, working at a local youth center as a "Youth Worker" and have been working on bettering myself and the relationships with those around me.

Something else that I've slowly been able to do has been to let go of those relationships that are not worth holding on to. I'd often feel hurt in the past if I saw someone that I haven't seen or heard of in a while knowingly walk past me or wave with indifference. However, after this past weekend I realized that to continually crack my skull about why a person sends out negative energy when I try send over positivity is merely doing just that...cracking my skull. 

I don't have much to write after that but I do want to attempt a free writing session to see what comes out.


We breathe the same crisp air and yet I feel as if we are not in the same region.
I fly freely reaching to hold on while you fly angrily against the currents of our peace.
Why must we have these moments of unspoken lies when you spoke as I spoke and lived as I lived. Your words must not have been carried by the waves of reality since unrealistically I question why we do not feel the same waters.
I still wish that your dreams become now and that your tomorrow will forever be. 
No longer under the impression that my hopes for you are the same for me but at peace with my respect for you...and not expecting your respect for me.

Thursday, February 7, 2008